One can only be glad that Rohini finally shed her convictions of ‘defectiveness’ and other such misgivings, and started ‘owning the biggest story of her life’. By the end of the book, you can’t help but like and admire Rohini the person. The feeling one gets is of complete honest outpouring, as if the author is saying, ‘This is what I truly am’. Here again, there is no attempt to glorify or denigrate any experience. Interspersed seamlessly within the story of her infertility and attempts at pregnancy are vignettes of her personal life. Just when you wonder why Rohini is putting herself through these procedures, she also makes you realise that she is just one of thousands of women who are willingly (and unfortunately sometimes unwillingly) going through these processes, all in the hope of becoming mothers.Īlso read: How Incumbent Structures Take Women’s Sexual & Reproductive Agency For GrantedĪll too often, Rohini shows that she is only human, whether at the pang of jealousy on hearing about her sister-in-law’s pregnancy or the irritation with her husband when she feels he is not as invested in the entire process. She is in control of the situation, even when matters are not really in her hands. Writing the story of her attempts to become a mother with honesty, Rohini conveys her grief and anguish but never does she invoke pity for the circumstances she finds herself in. The lemon-squeezer in the title is a reference to the appearance of the speculum which is inserted into the vagina as part of the IVF procedure. Rohini S Rajagopal’s cleverly titled book ‘What is a lemon-squeezer doing in my vagina?’ manages to handle this very difficult task with great skill and courage. It is not easy to write about the sheer helplessness of infertility, the heartbreak that one goes through as the periods arrive yet again to dash all hopes of pregnancy, the subtle, and then after a while, the not-so-subtle comments about one’s childlessness from friends, strangers and even well-meaning family members. The lemon-squeezer in the title of the book is a reference to the appearance of the speculum which is inserted into the vagina as part of the IVF procedure. Perumal Murugan’s novel Madhorubhagan (One Part Woman) deals with how a family and society’s obsession with childlessness estranges a loving couple and breaks up their happy marriage.
Infertility affects even the well-adjusted couple, who till the day they started planning a child, may have been perfectly happy together. According to WHO estimates, the overall prevalence of primary infertility in India is between 3.9 to 16.8%. Infertility reportedly affects up to 15% of reproductive-aged couples worldwide. If a test actually shows that there is an abnormality, then the guilt that the individual goes through is amplified substantially by the reactions of the family. There is always a suspicion that one of the partners is somehow lacking in what is required. By the fourth or fifth year of marriage, if there is no child in the horizon, then that seems to be enough reason for something that should be so private to become a common topic of discussion at family gatherings. If a woman is nearing 30, then there is this Damocles’ sword of the biological clock ticking, as if at some given point in the future, this clock will abruptly stop clicking if you don’t pay attention to it. Choosing to delay parenthood is considered wise, and is even recommended, for the first few of years after marriage, but after that, the pressure is on.
The steps in a ‘normal’ life are getting an education, setting out on one’s chosen career, getting married to a suitable partner, and then becoming a parent.
Who haven’t heard their infant’s lisp in which the sweetest musicįlows Translated from the original in Tamil by Sri Gopalkrishna Gandhi The flute can please, the harp appeal to those and only those Couplet 62 of Thiruvalluvar’s Thirukkural:Ĭouplet 66 of Thiruvalluvar’s Thirukkural:
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